Thief Bakura of the New Millennium
by aura kitten
Summary: It's supposed to be humorous. Bakura is gonna collect all the millennium items in order to gain ultimate powers of darknes....or not? Read to find out.


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I own this story, and the pictures that I drew....I own my cats, or maybe they own me....  
  
Uh. Uh. Here's a new story. It's kinda different from my other stories. Yeah...I dunno about my other stories, kinda got a form of writer's block except this idea sorta escaped the reaches of the block...lo and behold:  
  
Thief Bakura of the New Millennium  
  
Chapter 1: Millennium Puzzle  
  
In a young boy's mind...two beings are bickering...  
  
Bakura: Ryouuuuuuuuuuu! I've got a new idea to get all the millennium items and the ultimate powers of darkness!  
  
Ryou: Bakura, this is the seventh idea today! Give it a rest already, you'll never get all the items.  
  
Bakura: What'd you say hikari?! *growls*  
  
Ryou: Meep! Bunnies, attack! *pink bunnies appear out of nowhere and fall onto Bakura* My bunnies only attack evil!  
  
Bakura: Hm, only evil, eh? Thanks for the new idea, hikari! I'm off to see....the pharaoh! I'm borrowing the bunnies and your body. *shoves Ryou into soul room* Come on bunnies... *picks up bunnies and takes control of the body* We're off to see the pharaoh...  
  
***Later, at Kame Game Shop...***  
  
Yami and Bakura are standing two feet away from each other glaring at each other.  
  
Bakura: I challenge you, pharaoh! *swings arm to point his finger at Yami*  
  
Yami: Owb! Nob in da nobe! Geb your binger outta my nobe!  
  
Bakura: Yech! Pharaoh snot! Not even I would eat that! *wipes finger on Yami*  
  
Yami: I just happened to clean my nose this morning! *blushes* Um, I didn't say that... *retreats back to soul room, forcing out Yugi*  
  
Bakura: I challenge you to a shadow game! The winner gets the millennium puzzle!  
  
Yugi: But the puzzle's already mine.  
  
Bakura:....um. *snatches puzzle and yanks* Not anymore! Bwa-ha-ha! Huh?  
  
Yugi: *hack* You're choking me *wheeze* Bakura!  
  
Ryou: Bakura, let him go! You're killing my friend!  
  
Bakura: Fine, I'll let him go, but only on one condition. I must challenge him to a shadow game!  
  
Yugi: But the millennium puzzle's already mine. Hm...oh, what the heck! I'll play! You never beat me before, how could this end any different?  
  
Bakura: Let's play monkey in the middle!  
  
Ryou: Be fair Bakura! You know that Yugi is...erm, at a disadvantage.  
  
Yugi: You're saying I'm short, aren't you?!  
  
Bakura: Of course he's not! That pointy head of yours makes you look pretty tall! *snickers*  
  
Yugi: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!! Yamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Bakura's teasing meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
Yami: How dare you insult my hikari! Take this! *slaps Bakura with a leather glove*  
  
Bakura: Hey. That didn't really hurt or anything, but where'd ya get that glove?  
  
Yami: Hm... *looks thoughtfully at glove* I'm not really sure. It seems that items are randomly appearing and disappearing.  
  
Bakura: Huh. That's interesting.  
  
Yami: Where were we?  
  
Bakura: Um...oh yeah! Ha! That didn't even hurt at all! Now accept my challenge to a...........................  
  
Ryou: Bakura? *knocks on soul room door* You there? *hears static* Great Scotts! He's gone brain dead!  
  
Bakura: *stomach growls* Hn. I'm hungry.  
  
Yami: When'd you last eat? *stomach growls*  
  
Bakura: Ha! I'm not the only one who's hungry!  
  
Bakura and Yami: *stomachs growl* Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllll...  
  
Yami: How about the game be who can eat the most-  
  
Bakura: Rare meat!  
  
Yami: NO! I'm not psychotic enough to eat that! How about--  
  
Yugi: Pudding!  
  
Ryou: Ice cream!  
  
Yugi: Pudding.  
  
Ryou: Ice cream.  
  
Yugi: Pudding.  
  
Ryou: Ice cream.  
  
Bakura: Bloody meat.  
  
Yugi and Ryou: Ewwwwwww....  
  
Yami: How about it be a pizza eating contest?  
  
All: Pizza's good!  
  
***Later, once the pizza has been ordered and Bakura and Yami are sitting at a table in the game shop and ghostly images of the hikaris are sitting next to them watching the yamis and...I'll be shutting up now.***  
  
Bakura: Ready to meet your doom yet, pharaoh?  
  
Yami: Not in this lifetime, thief!  
  
Ryou: The rules are that whoever eats the most slices of pizza wins in a time limit of....half an hour. The winner gets to keep Yugi's millennium puzzle.  
  
Yugi: What if Bakura loses? What's he got on the line?  
  
Ryou: His sanity?  
  
Yugi: I thought he already lost that.  
  
Ryou: Um...his life?  
  
Yugi: But he always comes back again.  
  
Ryou: ...how about if Bakura wins he gets the millennium puzzle and if Yami wins he gets, um...  
  
Bakura: If I lose he gets you Ryou.  
  
Yami, Ryou and Yugi: WHAT?!?  
  
Ryou: Is that all you care about me? You'd just give me away like that? *gives best teary-eyed, puppy-dog look*  
  
Bakura: *mutters* Whiny hikari, snot-nosed little brat...fiiiiiiiiiine. If I lose then Yami gets my millennium ring.  
  
Ryou and Yugi: Okay then! On your marks, get set....GO!  
  
Bakura: *gulps down slices of pizza* Mrmph! Dis is goof! *splatters pieces of pizza while talking with mouth full*  
  
Yami: *chews each bite before swallowing* Bakura! The least you could do is swallow your food before talking!  
  
Bakura: Buff da piza tafes too goof!  
  
Yami: CLOSE YOUR MOUTH. You're getting slop and slobber all over my new leather shirt!  
  
Bakura: I shouff gef one shirf like dat...and DON'F SHOUFF AT ME, pharaoh!  
  
Ryou: The half hour's halfway done already.  
  
Yugi: Go Yami! Go! Eat that pizza, scarf that cheese, win the ring, oh please, please, please!  
  
Ryou: Go 'Kura Go! You will win, I know! Shut up Yugi and his Yami, eat that reddish-brown salami.  
  
Yugi: Those are pepperonis.  
  
Ryou: But pepperoni doesn't rhyme with Yami, now does it? No. It does not. Oh bloody hell!  
  
Bakura and Yami: *have gotten hold of some unnamable liquids* *singing off tune some weird song* We like to eeeeeeat pizzzzaaaaaaaaaaaa! *hic* Pizzzzzzzzzaaaa is goooooood! *hic* Pizzaaaaaaaaaa is realllllllllllly *hiccup* gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodddddddd!  
  
Ryou: Um, I think Bakura ate about twenty slices.  
  
Yugi: Aw. Yami only had thirteen. *sniffs a bottle of some unnamable liquids* Mmm...this smells niiiiiiice....  
  
Drunken Bakura: Yessssss*hic*ssss! I *hic* win the puzzle! Cheerio and all that, good *hic* chap! *snatches puzzle*  
  
Drunken Yami: Yeerr chokin' meh thief!  
  
Yugi: *sips liquid* This tastes good! *giggles* *takes another sip*  
  
Drunken Bakura: But I wons da shadow gameses! I gets da puzul!  
  
Drunken Yugi: Here den! *unhooks puzzle and throws at Bakura* Take it! I dun need it!  
  
Drunken Yami: But Yu--  
  
Drunken Bakura: Tanks shorty! I'll be goin's now! Come on hikari...  
  
Ryou: But what'd you need the bunnies for?  
  
Drunken Bakura: It 'twas for da penalty gameses I tinks. Go bunnies! *bunnies swarm around Yugi* When da shorty's better he'll be too distracted by der bunnies to notice dat Yami's missing 'cause I won der puzule! *launches into maniacal laughter*  
  
Yugi: Oh! Look at the furry pink bunnies....bunnies, bunnies, bunnies... ________________________________________________________________________  
  
That's all for this chapter of this new story! Tune in next time to find out how 'Kura will get the next items! Bye! And ya can see my Deviantart account. It's aurakit.devinartart.com It's aura kit! There you can see da weird pics I've drawn.... 


End file.
